(Prepares to dive in) So I’m just going to jump right into it. Orgasms??? really??? why hasn’t any one talked about this yet. I mean yes, we have all these amazing magazines and articles teaching us how to “come” but let’s be real….has anyone ever read those? and are those tips helpful? and frankly are they even speaking to our demographic? CLEARLY NOT! Because there are too many young people having sex but not orgasms.
Now, personally. I don’t believe, scratch that. I know that the stages of sexual arousal include excitement/arousal, plateau, orgasm and resolution. soooo technicially, in my opinion, if there is no orgasm…you are not having sex…you are “fooling around”. A very young girl, one way too young to be having sex in my opinion explained to me that she was always having sex but never “came”. I said, “then you are wasting your time”. Frankly, I think my inner mom took over and I felt the need to discourage her from having sex so young, but mostly I was serious. If sex is not ending in an orgasm for you….why bother? (IF) you’re not trying to change that. This leads into the whole phenomenon of faking orgasms (don’t even get me started about how that goes against nature) but anyways…point is ladies and gents, it’s time to stop faking and start feeling it.
I shall start with the men, and not the women for the former is less talked about than the latter. When it comes it orgasms it seems that it comes naturally to them and statistically it’s true. Men learn at a young age that masturbation is a
good, great thing. Not only is it acceptable but it feels good and it’s something they get down to a science. Women…not so much. We learn from a young age that women don’t masturbate. If a woman masturbates it’s because she’s dirty or doesn’t have someone to satisfy her desires; Many women rely on their first partnered experience to deliver their first orgasm. However, in doing so, they end up selling themselves short.
There are several reasons why people (young women) are not having orgasms or don’t know when they are having one and they are as follows ;
- They have never “gone through the motions (stages of climax)” with themselves, thus not knowing when they are about to climax or how they feel once they already have.
- They are too stressed out or carrying a lot of anxiety about the experience (concerned with trivial things like stretch marks and final exams).
- They are not being pleased the way they need to be or verbalizing the way they want things done.
- They are experiencing some sexually related trauma thus making it difficult for them to let their guard down and enjoy the person they’re with.
- Masturbate – If you can’t give yourself one, no one else can
- Work out – Exercise is a guaranteed way to make your orgasms more intense…(I’m serious…get to the gym)
- Increase foreplay – The build up to an orgasm is the best part it makes it well worth it, so keep the foreplay intense and heavy for a grand…explosion (for lack of better words)
- Take risks – A study showed that risky behavior ie; rock climbing, killing bugs (in my case), gets your juices revved up and ready.
- Go Tantric – Tantric sex is pretty new for many of us but it entails paying attention to your entire body, like breathing (It makes a difference).
- Communicate – This has got to be the number 1 reason why the job is not getting done, if you can’t express what you want, how can you expect it? Don’t be afraid to say what you want…I’m serious.