Now that “cuffing season” has officially began, I want to hit a topic that I have had to deal with in the past and even now. What do you when your best girlfriend or girlfriends get boyfriends???? You are either ecstatic that your friend has finally left the jerk she was with previously or hating the new jerk she’s with now. Despite how “hateristic” (nope, not a real word) and cliché it may seem us single girls miss our friends when they get a man, like I’m sure they miss us when we get one. I’ve even had one of my very best friends tell me “You can’t go get a man, I’m gonna need you!” So flattering, and so common for people to feel this way. Sometimes we will feel like we’re going to lose our friends and have to change the rules of our relationship.
When your friend get a new boo, you have to be very considerate and cognitive about what that means. For some people, it means nothing because with or without their boo, they are still free as bird but most people are very cognizant of the fact they no longer answer to themselves alone. What I hate the most is that I have to think twice before I call and how late because you don’t want to interrupt “boo loving hour” and if they live together you risk waking up their boo with your late night convos, it’s too much to think about! And don’t even get me started on going out! You being the free single eagle you are, have to now follow your homegirl’s curfew, watch her not dance with anyone the crew and text her boo the whole time.
If your friend’s relationship is unhealthy you are even more emotionally invested than ever. Being prepared for impromptu therapy sessions, getting late night calls with her crying, witnessing arguments. It’s like you’re watching “Baby boy” ALL THE TIME and frankly, I hate that movie (literally and metaphorically). On top of all of that, suddenly being single is a new rash from Egypt that people think will kill them instantly and you end up in social exile due to “couples only events” .
So how do you cope? How do you tell your friend, I miss the single you, without sounding like an undercover hater.
My solution, be out dating and seriously enjoying being single. It is okay to miss the single her but still enjoy YOUR single life. No matter what people tell you being in a relationship and being single have EQUAL pros and cons. Your coupled friends are so glad they have someone to hold them at night but your single friends are jumping for joy they don’t have to deal with the stress of trying to please any other human being other than themselves.
For my ladies in a relationship, it’s okay to be immersed into your relationship but it’s not okay to abandon your friends and overall lifestyle because you have someone new. It is very hard to keep it balanced but just be aware of the fact that the people who love you will miss your company. Be happy and feel blessed that you are surrounded by people who can not get enough of you!
A very smart woman said, “Having your friends be in a relationship is a real test. It is a test of your friendship, personal maturity and womanhood.” So my advice, just pass the test 🙂
Share your thoughts and experiences below.
Thank you for reading!