If you’re up at the crack of dawn then, I say Good Morning….If where you are has no light, then Good Night.This is a public service announcement, to my fellow Love&SexIssue readers. It has been brought to my immediate attention that our lives and peace of mind have been invaded by one of the most deceptive forms of the human species since the psychopath, Afflictions. If you think you could be someone who is afflicted by an affliction, please read, otherwise continue your internet journey to a blog without words.
Webster states that the word afflict means, “to distress so severely as to cause persistent suffering or anguish”. However, the beautiful people at the NaiOnLife original headquarters has just published a new term, Affliction. Affliction is the physical form of that, which causes severe suffering and anguish. An affliction, is a person in your life, who has or have makes you feel like finally someone understands you. They make you feel loved at just the time you need it the most, and seems to be there when life is going upside down. Afflictions are people in your life, who you obviously have a strong, soul mate like bond with, who over a course of time seem to put you through more stress, pain and aggravation than life itself. It is that person that we were/is/are “stupid” for.
We tend to see this when we are judging other people’s relationships, when we say things like, “I don’t know why you put up with that” or “I would never let someone do that to me”. Nine times out of ten, the person you said that about, had an affliction, 10 times out of 10 you had an affliction of your own at the same time. They say and do all the right things. They give you that incredible and painfully pleasurable feeling in your stomach, and also that notion that this will never last, but we fall for them anyway.They are charming, they are broken, and more importantly, they seem to be in an undying love for you. However, despite their charm, they possess a dark side. Not clear? Well think of that one person who you have been in a continuous I want you, but I don’t want you, love you but don’t need you, need you but don’t want you type of relationship. Their moral code lacks, well morality, and their mind lacks the greater concept of REALITY.
Hmmph…my affliction, was in my eye, my soul mate. Everything down to how we met made me think, we HAD to be destined for greatness because WHATTT human being in their right mind would LIE about who they were…yes…who they were, just to be with me! Hmmph..my affliction was the level 12, 5 tier triple-lutz, affliction of all afflictions. Some of you guys are dealing with level 2’s….some even level 7’s, but I pray to God none of you are dealing with a level 12.
My affliction, had manipulation down to a science, and I wore naivety almost as if I were proud. Lies on top of lies, on top of lies! I was spoon fed them every single day until the day I upchucked on the truth buried inside of me. As Oprah would say, I got whispers. However, as I look back on the situation, I got BIG GIANT BLOW HORNS, but I listened to none of it. I simply put on my Beats by Dre headphones and turned up the SSSS (stay stupid to stay sane) radio, and continued living my life.
To sum it up their was some apparent cheating, suicide threats (on their part not mine), lies, pregnancies (on their part not mine), lies, and more lies. I want to remain vague purposely because one, I do not feel like any blessings can come my way by bashing my ex, and frankly, this is only my truth and my experience, my ex could have a TOTALLY different view of how we were. I am not going to say my situation was all bad because it was not. In fact, because I knew my ex’s human potential and the life they lived before me, I was put on my therapist cape and started Operation: Captain Save a hoe, and ended up praying to be apart of Operation: affliction freedom.
It was hard, and I will not lie to you and say that every bit of that relationship has magically eradicated itself with time because it hasn’t. Do I still love my affliction? Of course. Do I still miss my affliction? Occasionally. Do I want that relationship back? Not relationship, just connection. In dating, period, you wish the other person just knew you already so you could just let your guard down but it doesn’t happen that fast. Yes I do miss, having someone around who knows me, and let’s me just be me, but I do not miss the drama, the lies, the pain, and I will never go back looking for a relationship with that person.
My friends, just off my experience alone have been able to identify the afflictions in their lives and I’m happy to say, they have all made peace with it. They are happy to be affliction free but it was not easy. It took several sessions, a lot of me “digging in” (A very rude controversial way of getting people to see the truth), and emotional healing on their part to help them, and it took twice as many sessions from them to help me get over mines.
If you’re reading this and someone popped into your mind, that is probably your affliction. I dare not tell you to le them go because frankly, when you get tired, you will. All I ask is that you just IDENTIFY the affliction in your life, and consider how much hurt and pain you have taken from someone who claims to love you. Whether that person is abusing you physically, mentally or emotionally. Afflictions are divinely orchestrated for you because it seems as if only YOU would put up with the things they do to you. I am a strong believer in the notion that your pain and suffering is tailor-made. My friends could not IMAGINE being with affliction but I couldn’t imagine being with theirs either. However, just because you CAN deal with it, doesn’t mean you’re supposed to.
My affliction taught me so much about life, and about myself. I learned what my limits were, the harsh things I was capable of saying, how well or poorly I control my temper and most importantly how amazing God is. So many great things came out of that situation, I am now grateful not hateful. After talking about this with my friend the other day, due to the impending post, she said, “you are so lucky this didn’t fuck you up”. Ever since she said that, I have been thanking God for just that. As I went through it, with no one who understood me, no one to hold me as I cried, no one to tell me I deserved more, too ashamed to talk about to anyone, God, was there for me; And he helped me see that, their were people in my life, I could talk to, and who was there to help me through it.
At this juncture in my life, I am happy to say I am affliction free, and the only person who was stopping that was me. I kept going back, looking for love but now, I know that is not love. I urge any of you, to seriously think about how much of your life, you’re not living because of your affliction, and think about how much more you can live!
As V-day approaches, I urge you all to be your own prince charming and save yourself from the drama.
Please feel free to email me, twitter DM me, or facebook message me, if you want to talk about this more…I’d be more than happy to talk to you.
Thanks for reading!