Although, I was not an adorning fan, I did/ do enjoy Lady Gaga’s music. Not to mention she’s among of the few Pop superstars that can hold a tune, in my opinion.
Last night, as I watched her interview with Oprah, something happened. This super mega star was making tea for Oprah, in her parent’s house….that she still lives in! I was completely stunned by how down to earth, private yet candid she was about her life experiences. I saw a lot of myself in her. She is eccentric, spiritual, humble, and intelligent. Her speech, her tone of voice, her passion gushed out of her pores and that made an impact on me I can’t fake,
Suddenly, it happened. She said the one phrase that I, for whatever reason have not been able to say with pride since I discovered…..well…me. “I’m several different people really”, she said with great ease and confidence. As the words dripped from her lips, it was like a river stream, from my head, to my heart, to my soul. It has been sitting in each place since it kissed my ear lobes. Who would have thought that a statement so simple would be detrimental to my progression.
As a therapist in training, “Self-help” is your internship. You have to do all the work you can with you, so that you can help others. I have been on an insanely long journey in search of who I am. I say this in the present tense because, I don’t think that answer will ever be complete. However, once I’ve gotten closer to pinning down just a “smidget” of my own essence, I concluded that I just acted differently with different people.
I used to beat myself up about this because I thought if I was different with everyone, who am I really? I mean with this group, I’m silly, this group I’m serious, next group, therapist Nai shows up. I for so long wanted for all of them to be as one, and not only that but for one to show itself to me as my true self. As my student said to me today, in reference to himself; ” I am like a mirror, I’m only giving you, exactly what you’re giving me”. That resignated with me, because I do that, I, in the presence of others become them, I am their reflection.
When Lady Gaga said, she’s several different people, I had what Oprah calls an ” AHA moment”. I thought, I am several different people, and that’s fine. Don’t ask me why, but in that moment, I made it okay for myself to be all the dimensions of me, whenever I wanted to be it. I guess in a way, I made it okay to be me.
Truth is, we all have several different sides of to us. Some of those sides are mood based and some are people based. We are not confined to being one of anything, so why settle for one version of yourself? Real women turn flaws into features and mines is that I can not be defined because my spirit is allusive and unattainable…..and I love that. What used to be my burden, is now my blessing. I guess I can now officially be added to the list of people who are GOO GOO for GAGA.