So for a about a week straight I went around all my loved ones yodeling “Act like and Think like a man” like Jennifer Hudson did in the music video with Ne-Yo. I just thought it was hilarious. (So please envision that as you read this post), never the less, despite my distaste for the entire premise of the book, I went to see the movie. Much to my surprise I really liked it! Now the feminist in me still hates the notion that, once again someone is coming to save us lonely black women from ourselves in the detrimental and heart wrenching task of keeping a man BUT there is something to learn from this film.
STANDARDS. Women, men, and intersexed (ambiguous genitalia)….all need standards. Scratch that, we need realistic standards! Something that a lot of the women did not have in the movie is what I have coined as a B.S.T (Bullshit threshold). No matter who we date, love, have sex with, or marry they will all come with a bag of crap. It’s normal, we are human. There are all types of things in that bag that make loving someone and them loving us difficult, however we have a put a tight cap on our B.S.T. How much are we really willing to let slide? How much are we really willing to put up with? How big is our B.S.T? What are the things we just will not tolerate?
Yes, It’s true some people have high almost impossible standards but most people’s standards are way too low. Trust me, I know. Most people’s standards are heavy in the physical trait box but low in personality box. We have to learn how to balance the box because it is personality traits not physical characteristics that make the difference.
A man’s height will not open your door for you but his old fashion attitude toward chivalry will. The size of a woman’s butt doesn’t determine whether she would be a nurturing care-taker. Thinking of the type of relationship you want, is key in developing realistic standards. I’m not saying you shouldn’t be attracted to them, OBVIOUSLY you should be! Hello! What I am saying is, don’t get caught up in the aesthetics. Your standards should be based on how you want to feel and how you want to be treated, which is finally something the media allowed women to do, via this movie.
Typically, when women express what they want, people immediately assume, they want too much or what they want is not possible, whether they were able to finish their statement or not. For example; If I say I want a man who is not going to cheat on me. I do not think that’s asking for too much. However, society sometimes makes us feel crazy to ask for things like…dare I say it…monogamy. Overall, I give the movie 5/5 stars and the 5th star is merely because of the way Michael Ealy licked Taraji’s knee in their sex scene.
I hope you guys, all people, learn that you are never asking for too much, when you expect to be treated with love, kindness, and respect. They are of the most trivial things we can contribute to one another during our human experience. When you are not getting that, don’t be afraid to walk away.
For those you who don’t know what I’m talking about with the yodeling….here’s the video !