These past three weeks I’ve been made more aware of my “single-ness” than I ever have in my 2-3 years of being single. I mean, everything from women suddenly being overtly sexual with their men when I walk by, old friends needing to be chaperoned by their spouses when we agree to reconnect, hearing partnered people saying single women are loose. Not convinced? Just today, I had a “That awkward moment when you’re single” situation. While at lunch my friends I had this conversation, Friend A: “You guys want to see a movie later? My boyfriend can hold the tickets.” Friend B: “I’ll ask my boyfriend.” Me: “No, the weather is pretty bad, I’m going to stay in and watch a movie. Friend A: “Yeah, it’s a good night to be in a relationship, it’s a cuddle with your boyfriend kind of night.” (looks away), (awkward pause) Me: 🙂 yup *she looks away and I do this * -_- .
How about those moments when your friend doesn’t even bother to ask about your romantic life because they know nothing serious is stirring in the pot, or they do ask and you have nothing to say or they dish about the details of their romantic life and you have no stories to swap. It feels like the world is throwing you shade and we all know shade comes in all different, well shades. I know it’s not intentional but at this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if someone literally whispered, get away from her, you don’t want to catch “single”. However, despite the shade thrown at us there are a few other things that really grinds my gears.
When coupled people try to hook you up with every single man in the world with no regard to your type….STOP THAT! Also, people who feel less significant because of their lack of a significant other. Single is not a sickness, nor is it a punishment for any of your un-virtuous traits, it is simply a relationship status! No matter what state you’re in you should be enjoying your life. Give 100% to both! Focus on all the wonders of being single, flirt, date, have fun being by yourself, be present in the freedom of loving you. In a relationship, give it your all, embrace the love between you and another person, focus on what it takes to be in a relationship.
Being single and being in a relationship has the same amount of pros and cons. Trust and believe there are A LOT of happy single people and A LOT of unhappy partnered people and vice-versa. When you’re single you only have to take your feelings into consideration, which is freedom you can’t buy! You are obligation-less, you don’t have to calculate other people into your plans and you don’t have to deal with other people’s insecurities, jealousy, annoying habits, anything. When you’re coupled you get to share all the things you love with the person you love. You get to really explore all the fun you can have with a partner feeling safe, secure, and in complete bliss.
So here is some advice, we can all just get along. Coupled people, stop assuming that EVERYONE wants YOUR mate. If you’re that afraid that what you have can be taken away it must not belong to you. Also, all single women and men are not whores, they’re single. To my single people, if we were to subtract all the time we spend wishing we were in a relationship, how much time would that leave us to enjoy our OWN life?A LOT! Being in a relationship is about sharing your ALREADY amazing life with someone else who has one of their own. That’s why a lot of people in relationships suffer because they had no life, they made their partner their life and that gets really boring, really fast.
I digress, there is no right or wrong when it comes to being single or coupled, however it is wrong to make anyone feel insignificant because of that state. I really wanted to shed light on this because if us single people don’t stop taking it personally, and coupled people don’t stop making it personal, we’ll have a lot more of situations we can call, “That awkward moment when you realize….you have no friends.”
Thanks For Reading !