When the “Thirst” Isn’t Real….

Urban youth and “20 somethings” alike have allowed so many things to interfere with the building of intimacy with another person. We have engaged in things like screen-shotting personal conversations sending it to friends or posting it on social media. We have created all types of media pages like Instagram, Facebook, Vine, as sort of personal advertisements of the version of ourselves we want people to see to still end up misunderstood and overlooked. We have pretty much sold social media some of our most vulnerable moments but that’s America!

Don’t get me wrong I do it too, so I’m not judging.  However, we all have our limits of things to post and not to post, words to say and not to say; But the word “thirsty” is a trend, phrase rather, that has started to a subtle shift in behavioral norms as deemed by society (us). Basically, it’s killing the “dance” of dating.

The word “thirsty”, is meant to describe someone who is not grasping the social cues one uses to relay their lack of interest in them romantically and continues their pursuit. It could also in other words be seen as “eager” or “Doing too much”. Although these are all valid situations, the truth is the word is misused. If a guy likes 99 out of your 100 IG post, texts you repeatedly even when you don’t respond, or calls you everyday when you have clearly expressed no interest in him, he’s not thirsty, he’s stalking you! If a woman you don’t like or have expressed no sexual interest in randomly sends you a naked pic, she’s thirsty. If your partner whom you have shown even some romantic interest in, is asking for dates, texting/calling regularly and shows genuine interest in dating you, that’s not stalking or thirst, it’s called CONSISTENCY!

It’s not like there weren’t “thirsty” people prior to the word, but there wasn’t really any language that so accurately described the behavior. I get it, anyone who shows more interest in you than you show them, can be a little annoying but it is your place to remove any reason they may have to believe you like them back.  If you aren’t making that clear then they can’t be called “thirsty”.

The truth is we are unfortunately attracted to the mysteriousness of someone who acts like they don’t like us. We drive ourselves crazy trying to understand that person’s mystery when really there is none, they are acting that way because say it with me “THEY DON’T LIKE YOU” !

The worst thing about the word “thirsty” is that it’s stopping people from doing any kind of affectionate act when dating because looking thirsty is scarier than actually losing someone you might actually have a genuine connection with. Not to mention, a lot of people use it as a way to seem important or desired, which makes the person chasing them resent them and the dating process altogether.

I can tell you both from experience and textbook knowledge that the respect for love and commitment is decreasing. Love is in a very fragile state now and we can’t afford to let things ruin what we have left of romance in 2014. I want my niece to be the recipient of grand acts of love from her beloved, and my nephew to not be too afraid to create them for the person he loves. Hell, I want that !

Love and dating is already hard enough to master with the double standards and expectations of perfection. Lets not completely ruin the art of pursuit and courtship by calling everyone thirsty. If we keep going at this rate, committed relationships and acts of romance will be like dinosaurs and good lace front closures; only seen on TV.

– NaiOnLife 

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