My Interview with BeenieTV!

So for those of you who follow me on twitter you may have already heard that my computer has been in the hospital….but it’s back  (Does the two-step) ! So I’m back to posting and the latest NaiOnLife buzz is my interview with BeenieTV !

I got the privilege to sit and chat with Abena Ansah, the creator of BeenieTV to give her viewers some NaiOnLife time.  Abena is seriously a person to meet before you die, she is insightful, interesting and nothing short of dynamic. She calls for you to always bring your A-game, which is why working with her is magical.  We talked about a host of great topics, from friends with benefits to the LGBT and more. Check it out below and let me know what you think !

To check out all of Abena’s dope vids got to Youtube.com/BeenieTV   

Thanks for watching ! 

NaiOnLife

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Nai On Love: A Free Write (Part 1)

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So after one night of thinking about my views and perspectives this, was my result. A free write on love. There is no real structure, point or purpose, I just needed to write, So without further or do here is, “What Do I know About Love?”

What do I know about Love?

All I think I know about love is that it is not as complex as we all think it is. It is a special gift that God gives us for a specific amount of time with a specific person because he wants to us to see the beauty of another human being as well as get a true experience of him because well…God is love. Love in this humanly world can be summed up into this equation God’s Plan + Chemistry + Consistency. Without any of the three, love just can’t be.

 God creates this amazing connection and chemistry between two people for his own agenda and our ultimate benefit. Whether that person ended up breaking your heart, you breaking theirs or you guys end up together forever, the point is that you were able to experience God and learn or achieve whatever you were supposed to during or because of that situation. Every experience of love we have is one that teaches us, pushes us forward or molds us into more of ourselves. That is why love is the essence of all life well that’s what I believe it is.

 It is how you discover who you are, what you need and most importantly what you can give. It is in those times when you become who you really are. I remember when I first fell in love with my previous lover. My initial feeling wasn’t , “Wow this person is so great”, it was that “wow, someone see’s so many beautiful things within me”. It gave me insight into what I was actually able to offer to someone else and all the things that made me special.

It’s more than a grand gesture for someone to choose to see only the good in you but when seeing the good in you no longer conveniences them or when the good in you  is no longer an admirable trait but an expectation of behavior, that is where  the disparity begins. Now this person is challenging you to be the BEST you, all the time, and unfortunately many people can’t handle the pressure, of being the truest form of themselves. In the event you don’t become that, sometimes you can leave the person who asked this of you, heartbroken.

The crazy thing about love is, after your heart is broken, all you want to do is to feel love again, which is why people usually run to religion to fill that void. It’s funny really that in any crisis, including matters of the heart, we flee to the source of all love.

Sometimes I wonder if the love you have for someone will  ever go away? I mean they say Love never dies so I wonder, Is love recycled?  Once it’s cleaned up and ridden of all bitterness and anger… do you happily transfer that love to someone else?

It is hard for us to articulate what exactly love is because for everyone it means similar but different things. I am well aware of the fact that my expectations of romantic love may be naïve but I know the potential the love two pure souls can create. That is a truth I can’t deny. I hope for the world’s sake that we all just bring more love into our worlds, and let it lead our relationships.

So tell me, What do you know about love? 

Leave your comments below ! 

— NaiOnLife 

“SoulPancake, Kid President, & A Pep Talk”

So if you guys were not formally aware of this video, please stay tuned for this little guy, known as Kid President. He is an absolutely adorable kid, who is giving us all a well deserved pep talk. I was at work when my white chocolate soul-mate came to me and said, “Hey Black Vanilla, you look like you need a pep talk from Kid President”, ( we don’t really call each other this but we’re going to start tomorrow) I had no idea what she was talking about but after I watched it, my day was literally made. If you follow me on twitter or you’re my Facebook friend, you know I’ve posted this before, however, I feel compelled to do it again.

A site I have come to love, SoulPancake.com, is the breeding ground of spiritual exploration and all for people having fun with life. It’s described as a team of people who create and facilitate so many amazing little projects that get people feeling good and making connections. I love them and I hope after this video you will too ! 

So I ask you guys….what will you do to make this world awesome? Leave your answer below. 

NaiOnLife 

My Name is Naiylah ….and I’m a Spirit Junkie

My Name is Naiylah ….and I’m a Spirit Junkie.

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Dear NaiOnLife readers,

All  7 of you. Thank you for joining my first post on my new and improved web page. However, I must first explain my recent absence from the blogging world. Thanks to my fairy God mother Oprah and the spiritual thinkers of the world, I got exposed to a whole new world of perspectives, that provided me with new language in which I am now able to more appropriately articulate my thoughts, morals and beliefs.

During my absence I was on somewhat of a spiritual journey. Watching “Oprah’s Life Class”, and my “Super Soul Sunday”, reading books by Marianne Williamson, and of course meditating. I had to stop writing for a while because I just didn’t feel it. It started feeling forced, I started feeling like I HAD to write which is not at all how I like to do things. I had to learn more about me, about love, about life and about what sexuality means before I truly had something of value to say to you guys.

I always say, an aspiring therapist’ internship is self-help, and that is what I did. I helped myself to the wisdom of people who were more connected to the world than I could have ever hoped I could be. How would I ever be able to help you guys, my readers and my clients without proper digging into my own morals and beliefs? I had to figure out, if my name is NaiOnLife, what do I know about life? So I started thinking about my perspectives on love, sex, spirituality, everything.

While learning and having all these ‘Aha moments’, my soul popped open. I imagine it’s like being pregnant, you know the baby is in there but it’s sleeping and suddenly he/she kicks you, and you know it’s real. It was like that. Listening to these people talk about God, heaven, the power our thoughts have, the many manifestations of pain, resonated with me in ways I can’t articulate.

The more I learned, the more I wanted to learn, the more I realize I need to learn. As I continue on this journey, It’s like everything outside of feeding my very hungry soul is completely irrelevant. I am a certified spirit junkie, a term coined by the amazing Gabrielle Bernstein. I crave nothing more than intervals of deep mediation, true silence of mind, and this very specific feeling after God has graced you with his presence, only to reassure you, he was always  there. That is my high. Experiencing that presence is one that I long for each day. It is now so bad that I don’t even feel like I’m living if I don’t experience that connection every day, it gets that real.

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If ever you want to find YOUR own road to experience this,I want to first begin to think of life in two different spaces; The physical space and the spiritual space. The physical space is where WE as humans live and the spiritual space is where our soul lives.  The physical space, is where our thoughts, feelings, dreams, and acts are carried out. The Spiritual space is where they carry over. The things we experience flow through these spaces freely and constantly. For example, you may have given your only dollar to a homeless woman/man, and later whether it had been that day or 3 months later, someone volunteered to pay for your food, just because. You didn’t see it but your good was planted and once it grew it carried over to help you in the physical world. Say you have dreamt of moving to Paris your entire life, you finally visit and it feels like home, you didn’t see it but that was a seed planted by *points up* in the spiritual space, that carried over into your physical life. Now whether you actually get there,  is a product of your own free will.

What I am trying to get you to do is to start thinking about what you are doing in this physical space that is growing in the spiritual space. Both good and bad things can be grown, trust me I know, I have a whole garden of terrible coming my way, but let us begin again and stay positive.

If you are at all interested or already on your own spiritual journey this post was for you, to know that you are one of many people. Having a spiritual part of life whether you believe in God or “The Universe” or what have you. It is important that you are believing in things that encourages your values, inspire you to better, and reassure you that you have a true purpose in life.

I predict that spirituality is the key to  happiness and satisfaction with life. It’s the wave that we all need to jump on because life is too crazy, to have no peace, the world is too vain to not have joy and we are too smart to try to do this without God.

Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoy all the future post to come!

As Deepak says after meditation, Namaste

Signed, the spirit junkie,

-NaiOnLife

“Sacred Sex”

After getting older and doing some soul-searching I’ve resurfaced with some new ideas and perspectives on the world.  I have come up with a multitude of questions, answers, and thoughts about things within the realm of relationships, work and of course sex. Reading some new literature has really opened and developed my mind to be more logical and most importantly more spiritual. I have always been a spiritual person but after focusing more on that, it’s like my third eye has cracked open and allowed me to further develop and articulate my pre-conceived notions about the world in reference to relationships, sex and everything in between.

I have always been aware of the fact that spirituality is the pulse of all life, however, like many people I was never able to comfortably marry sex and spirituality as one concept. I had always believed sex was spiritual, that sex was sacred but I wasn’t sure how both concepts could co-exist when society makes them out to be separate and not at all equal.

Sex is an outward expression of  your inward emotions. It is a way to express the spiritual, mental and/or emotional connection you have for your partner. Sex however can be embedded in either two things, lust or love. Lust being just of pure physical attraction and love in emotional connection. Now we all know both lust-full and love-less sex happens all the time but the problem lies in the superficiality of it. That type of sex despite how physically stimulating it may be leaves us emotionally unsatisfied and unfulfilled.

I myself have never really been one for casual sexual encounters, not that I’m opposed to them, I listen to them happily with popcorn, ready to high-five you on a new move you used but I am very picky about who I let into my “temple”. You see, some people come in and they “HGTV it,” making it feel or look more beautiful, some come in to simply leave a mess, and some come to just say that they’ve been there; But whether you realize it or not, EVERYONE leaves something with you. Whether a lesson learned, a painful scar or great pleasure but very few go in and leave love.

That is where the idea of sacred sex comes from, When a person enters you….only to leave love. I know it sounds corny and yes it sounds gender specific but it goes for EVERYONE. To break it down further, Sacred in its truest form means of the divine or of God, and we all know that the definition of God is love. So to sum it up,  sacred sex is the demonstration of one’s inward emotions into a series of physical acts in the presence of and with the blessing of God.

Sacred sex can happen with anyone who truly cares about taking care of you emotionally and physically. Someone who expresses that their purest intention is to give you an experience of God through sex.

In so many words, I’d describe it as the type of sex you make God apart of….. and no, not saying “Oh my God ” on the peak of orgasm. It’s that moment when you kiss someone so deeply, you taste their soul on your lips or when you stare into someone’s eyes so long, you can see who they were even in their past lives. It is an experience that calls for you to truly trust this person, to be completely vulnerable with them, to allow them to love you the way you deserve.

Now, If you doubt you have had an experience like this, its okay. Maybe you’re not at that point in your relationship yet, or maybe you don’t have someone you care deeply enough for, that’s fine. Being able to have an experience like this depends on you just as much as it depends on your partner. It is your responsibility to make sure your heart and mind are open.

All you need to have sacred sex are two people or more (If that’s what you’re into) who are present in the moment, free of inhibitions, with no other aspiration in life at that moment to demonstrate how they really feel about you from a true place.

NAIONLIFE…… TheLove&SexIssue

“Brazilians Gone Wild”

She was a pretty older woman from a country I probably couldn’t find on a map, with a very pleasant disposition. She was about 5’3 with a medium-sized figure. She told me to take off my underwear, and lay down. She came by the bed side “Open your legs” she told me as she slowly helped to position them exactly where she wanted them. I was suddenly very nervous. I couldn’t believe I was letting this strange woman do this to me. She stroked the upper region of my vagina and laid her hand there. I felt something really warm stroking the sides of my labia, and then the other side. I started breathing deeply and then…..it happened. She snatched all the hair off on the right side of my vagina!

That’s right guys, I got my she-ro, my hero, my partner in crime, completely waxed. I can’t believe I am doing this, is the only thing I could ask myself. She snatched and snatched and snatched until there was literally nothing left. My palms were sweating, my teeth were clenched, and my eyes were closed. All I could do was breathe like I was in labor, really fast. By the time it was almost over, I was really ready to go. I suggested a landing strip ( a small strip of hair down the labia) but she paid me no attention and kept going. Later, she asked if I wanted to leave a little hair, and I said yes, just wanting it to be over but I never looked down to see what it looked like.

She rubbed aloe vera all over me to clean up the wax and hydrate my skin, and told me I could get up and look at it, and let her know if it was okay. She left the room and I immediately popped up to see what all that pain was for. I looked in  the mirror in awe. “OMG! You are as smooth as eggs!!! (referencing Dave Chappelle’s, my balls are as smooth as eggs routine)”. I looked deeper and noticed I was bleeding, where the hair was ripped out, near my inner labia. I was pretty shocked and surprised, but shrugged it off due to my skins sensitive nature. She left just a small, very small amount of hair , due to that fact, which I was grateful for. I cleaned myself up, thanked her so much for being so gentle, after all it was my first time. Surprisingly, I left feeling like a new woman.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am actually an advocate for leaving some hair on your genitalia because it does aid in protecting you. It serves as a barrier to prevent irritation from skin to skin contact and its a good cushion for people who like rough sex. I am not a fan of shaving because it causes ingrown hairs, and let’s face it, that’s not something you want to have to explain to someone. They can be embarrassing and really hinder your sexual confidence. I believe in a serious trim down or a Nair removal kit, but now I can add waxing to that list.

Although it was painful, its sexually empowering to be completely bare. It can increase your confidence, you feel light, airy and ready for anything. From skinny dipping to oral sex. Having all the hair gone really makes in difference in the sensations so you can have a lot of fun with the fact that it’s all gone. If getting waxed gave me nothing else, it gave me confidence, because the experience itself is scary, it hurts, it’s weird but its adventurous! My sister has tattoos all over her body and thinks I’m brave for getting waxed. I say that to say, it really becomes a time for you to get to know yourself and step outside your comfort zone.

In terms of my personal happiness with this, on a scale of 1-10. I give it a solid 13. I went to a really dope spot in the Murray hill section of the city and the service was amazing. The results were/are impeccable. I am literally as smooth as a baby’s bottom or as smooth as I was when I was a baby. I mean I’ve been a pretty severe perv, touching myself every chance I get just to feel how smooth it is. Wearing my sexiest underpants just to see how it looks all gone. Now in terms of my willingness to do this again, not quite sure yet. as the days go by, I forget just how much it hurts, so I consider it more and more.

So whether you intend to have a Yolo moment or just want to start doing this as apart of your monthly routine, I think you’ll find it will add a lot more spice to your life, in more ways than one. I can’t imagine it ever gets old.

NaiOnLife……………………………………………………Happy Summer 🙂

That Awkward Moment When…You’re Single

These past three weeks I’ve been made more aware of my “single-ness” than I ever have in my 2-3 years of being single. I mean, everything from women suddenly being overtly sexual with their men when I walk by, old friends needing to be chaperoned by their spouses when we agree to reconnect, hearing partnered people saying single women are loose. Not convinced? Just today, I had a “That awkward moment when you’re single” situation. While at lunch my friends I had this conversation, Friend A: “You guys want to see a movie later? My boyfriend can hold the tickets.” Friend B: “I’ll ask my boyfriend.” Me: “No, the weather is pretty bad, I’m going to stay in and watch a movie. Friend A: “Yeah, it’s a good night to be in a relationship, it’s a cuddle with your boyfriend kind of night.” (looks away), (awkward pause) Me: 🙂 yup *she looks away and I do this * -_- .

How about those moments when your friend doesn’t even bother to ask about your romantic life because they know nothing serious is stirring in the pot, or they do ask and you have nothing to say or they dish about the details of their romantic life and you have no stories to swap. It feels like the world is throwing you shade and we all know shade comes in all different, well shades. I know it’s not intentional but at this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if someone literally whispered, get away from her, you don’t want to catch “single”. However, despite the shade thrown at us there are a few other things that really grinds my gears.

When coupled people try to hook you up with every single man in the world with no regard to your type….STOP THAT! Also, people who feel less significant because of their lack of a significant other. Single is not a sickness, nor is it a punishment for any of your un-virtuous traits, it is simply a relationship status! No matter what state you’re in you should be enjoying your life. Give 100% to both! Focus on all the wonders of being single, flirt, date, have fun being by yourself, be present in the freedom of loving you. In a relationship, give it your all, embrace the love between you and another person, focus on what it takes to be in a relationship.

Being single and being in a relationship has the same amount of pros and cons. Trust and believe there are A LOT of happy single people and A LOT of unhappy partnered people and vice-versa. When you’re single you only have to take your feelings into consideration, which is freedom you can’t buy! You are obligation-less, you don’t have to calculate other people into your plans and you don’t have to deal with other people’s insecurities, jealousy, annoying habits, anything. When you’re coupled you get to share all the things you love with the person you love. You get to really explore all the fun you can have with a partner feeling safe, secure, and in complete bliss.

So here is some advice, we can all just get along. Coupled people, stop assuming that EVERYONE wants YOUR mate. If you’re that afraid that what you have can be taken away it must not belong to you. Also, all single women and men are not whores, they’re single. To my single people, if we were to subtract all the time we spend wishing we were in a relationship, how much time would that leave us to enjoy our OWN life?A LOT! Being in a relationship is about sharing your ALREADY amazing life with someone else who has one of their own. That’s why a lot of people in relationships suffer because they had no life, they made their partner their life and that gets really boring, really fast.

I digress, there is no right or wrong when it comes to being single or coupled, however it is wrong to make anyone feel insignificant because of that state. I really wanted to shed light on this because if us single people don’t stop taking it personally, and coupled people don’t stop making it personal, we’ll have a lot more of situations we can call, “That awkward moment when you realize….you have no friends.”

Thanks For Reading !

NaiOnLife………TheLove&SexIssue